Dear tesco, your 'TESCO SELECTS' wine made me Feel Like a king today. But I'm broke so i feel bad about stealing it. / by Dante Sacomani

Today I was in a Wetherspoon's wondering if everyone drinks too much at some point and grows into a size M. My sweater was a little too big back then and I was hoping to be mistaken for a guy who had lost weight faster than he could afford sweaters then i paid nine pounds to decipher a pulled-apart sandwich that came scattered over a wooden plank.