i am not worried about today but i am goshdarn terrified for the day metro boomin no longer trusts himself. / by Dante Sacomani

My parents named me after my dad's brother and now we have exactly the same first and last names. It doesn't really matter much because he lives in a swamp and, if he really does not believe in birth control like he says, has only made love three times in his life. His three children are proof of this and it is undeniable because they all exist I think. 

One time my uncle took a lot of money from my dad and bought a small excavator. He would be a lot better as an uncle and a man if he stopped committing crimes and falling off the grid so the police wouldn't have to show up at my door with their guns and citations in my face, hauling me away for crimes I could not have committed because I live in England not a swamp. It is probably costing the swamp municipality a lot of dough to send their guys over here to arrest me a couple of times a month.

The other day I was on a train that was pulling into a large train station. At the same time, a different train was pulling into the next platform over. As the two trains converged on the neighboring platforms I felt like we were merging into a single train. I thought of my uncle and imagined us as trains, coming together just for a second.

Though really we could never come together because I don't even know what he looks like. If you see my uncle contact me on Google plus because he has done some stupid things and the police are after him.