DON'T BLAME ME for SHOWING UP to WORK AT THE NEW ARBYS EVEN THOUGH I WORK AT THE OLD ARBYS AND SOMETIMES LEAVE WORK TO GO TO ARBYS / by Dante Sacomani

Micheal Stripe had stopped growing hair when his band made the Day Sleeper video in 1998. I don't know when Micheal Stipe stopped having hair exactly but I know the chronology of REM music videos and he didn't have any in Everybody Hurts video and that was like probably 1992 so holy hell it's been a long time.

I think REM have at least two completely overlooked classic albums, but if you watch the videos you can always recognize Micheal Stipe because he has no hair and has a nice voice too. 

The point is that last month I had to reset my phone because one morning I clicked on a phishing link in a text message. When my phone rebooted it had forgotten how I like to type and spell things. The autocorrect became a total nightmare all over. "Fuck" reverted to "Duck". HA didn't jump out to HAHAHAHA. U kept becoming I. 

Today I was at the Rose and Crown in Canterbury thinking about a weird email I received from my grandmother when a man and his wife sat at the table next to me and began to look at the menu. 

She didn't look so happy and so the man said, wait, why don't you like this place anymore? She said it was because they had changed the menu. What's so new about it, it's pub grub, he said. He put his lager down, but with civility. She said it was too fancy  and besides she didn't even like wild boar sausages. He said, thats just normal pork but they try to make it sound more special that way. Well, she said, maybe they should just say what they mean.