DESPITE RECENT "POSTS" BY MY ENEMIES I AM NOT BOYCOTTING ARMIE HAMMER UNTIL HE CHANGES HIS FIRST NAME TO ARM & / by Dante Sacomani

Holy goodness – if you go to the Westgate Wetherspoons right now there is a man with a blotchy neck tattoo in a Rudolph the Reindeer sweater singing Jingle Bells in the middle of the room and getting strangers to join in. Its like when the Chili's staff sing happy birthday to the  birthday people eating burgers and food in there i guess but i don't know because i do not like fine dining and have only been to chilis one time in an airport. 

I was in the table 11 today in Wetherspoons eating a veggie burger and reading a book about robots when i looked up and thought oh boy all the servers in this place will one day be robots even though right now they are all teenagers who'll you pour a Coors Light if you ask for a Bud Light and say whatever the taps are mislabelled if you call them out.

While I was sitting there i thought about this one time I drank a bloody mary in a fancy diner in Chicago called Little Goat. This dude had texted me and told me to meet him there because his engagement had just fallen to pieces and he needed to talk. The place was closer to me than him so I arrived first and sat there at the bar in the back thinking it was probably too early to be playing Eazy-E so loud in a small space but oh well. it was sunday and a day for worship, and in here they worshipped diner classics updated with kimchi and probiotics. 

When this dude finally arrived I was on the second bloody mary and he said, oh youre drinking and i said yeah well you asked me to meet you at a bar. He sat down and ordered a coffee and I said, how are you and he said how do you think? and I said pretty fucked if you want to be sober in here.