Down at the Old Coach & Horses Pub in Lower Harbledown, Kent a salad niçoise goes for £17 and if you eat the fish fingers out of your fish finger sandwich without touching the bread the waiter will sigh like hell and ask why you didn't tell him no bread in the first place.
Earlier today I was back at the Bishop's Finger pub in Canterbury reading when a guy came to me and demanded answers – why hadn't I ordered an English beer? This was, he said, an English pub for English people. He was wearing a Jack Wills T-shirt and eating a Sunday roast standing up at the bar. The man looked away from me and down at his plate. He pushed his yorkshire pudding into a little pool of gravy. On the wall a poster said £1 of all Sunday roasts were donated to the Royal Air Force veterans society.
I took a drink and saw myself reflected in the mirror behind the bar. I picked up the lunch menu and saw that someone had changed the price of the Sunday roast with a marker. They'd raised it by £1.