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STILL LESS FAMOUS THAN SHIA LEBEOUF

I got real rebellious the summer I sold my records and quit being vegan. I kept my library, but only because someone stole my Kindle. They left a note. "Print is not dead." So I read Moby Dick. Twice. I only owned one book back then. Call me Ishmael! If I don't turn around, it's only because that's not my name. If you find my Kindle, please return it to me.

I told this real dangerous dude I'd pay his bills this month. Hire me to write some copy or it's lights out.

I write words and people like them.